An Appeal To My Fellow Christians

It's possible (and it's my dearest hope) that I'm missing the tone of super-dry 4chan irony in all this (dear CHRIST let it all be ironical!). But I can't help feeling that even irony might be getting out of hand when the name of a 50-year-old gentleman of sedentary habits recurs obsessively in five of the seven threads on the first page of Crackyhouse, not to mention on the torso of some young individual who, regardless of who he may or may not be, clearly isn't Zooey Deschanel or Thora Birch, which is the only way something like that WOULDN'T scare the shit out of me.

The idea that I might be the object of erotic - or even, as appears to be the case here, of only vaguely eroticized - attention from the side of a young FEMALE individual is already an idea I have a bit of a problem with. That, admittedly, is a personal sexual pathology of mine that I've had to learn to live with. As regards my becoming the object of the quasi-erotic fixations of young MALES, however, I consider it imperative, at this point, to publicly declare that I am entirely of one mind and will with my fellow Mexican Lizard Cardinal Javier Barragan - I don't think he's Jewish - who is today reported in the press as reiterating, to the dismay and consternation of many, what is, however, after all no more and no less than the plain text and matter of Holy Scripture: namely, that homosexuality is a sin against the dignity of the body, and precludes its practitioners from ever entering the kingdom of Heaven.

Cardinal Barrigan cites the Letters of St. Paul. He might have gone on to cite countless other passages from both Old and New Testaments. Such as the passage in Kings 22:11, for example (one of my favorites) where Jehovah speaks from a somersaulting mountain and decrees that "the one manner holy in the sight of the Lord in which a man shall offer up the longing and adoration of his soul and his body to another" shall be

(i) to a woman (a girl's okay too; in fact, anything over 12's permissible in periods of drought, famine, or other personal difficulties)

and

(ii) via regular Paypal money-transfers accompanied by brief and usually unanswered messages begging the woman/girl/babe-in-arms in question to reveal to the adoring individual the exact angle in which she was penetrated by her boyfriend the night before and the approximate (preferably somewhat exaggerated) dimensions of the latter's penis.

Certain so-called "progressive" theologians have been at pains for years to effectively neutralize the meaning and effect of this key scriptural passage by quibbling over whether the original Aramaic - rendered into English in the King James Version of 1632 as "a moving tabernacle that shall carry the fruit of the toil of the desiring one, yea, and of all his labor" - really can fairly and accurately be interpreted to the contemporary world as Paypal Ltd. or some equivalent fast-and-easy cash-transfer service.

Such pedantic liberal nitpicking, however, is powerless to alter the fact that Divine Revelation itself has laid down these forms and these forms alone as the forms of the expression of erotic love which the Lord has looked upon and found to be good. And indeed, does not the natural instinct of the common man, even in his ignorance, suffice in itself to teach him what scripture here imparts to the learned? Is this common man not - to invoke a passage from Paul's "Letter to the Romans" the original sense of which has become distorted and even reversed in modern speech - already a "law unto himself" in these matters? Do not his deepest natural inclinations go in the very direction prescribed to him by Jehovah's words in "Kings"?

I appeal to you, therefore, my brethren, stray not from the appointed path, however great the temptation placed in your way. And please let there be no misunderstanding here. I wish to adopt no superior or holier-than-thou attitude in this matter. My own glance, I won't deny it, has strayed as often as yours has, irresistibly, on misty autumn evenings, toward some grotesquely overweight, deathly pale, wheezing and obviously insane 50-year-old Irishman who happened to pass, like a breath of promised spring, across my path on my way home from work. They really are delightful little teases, that type - but perils, for all that, for the immmortal souls of each and every one of you!

So go now in peace and absolution - and sin no more.

David Lynch
Alex Reynolds
Inland Empire

My reflection shows that i'm far too critical.

Textbook Diamonds.

The Sigma is Smith and Wesson’s initial foray into the world of polymer body automatic handguns, and it is a line that has been fraught with hiccups. In 1994 the series was introduced as a Glock 17/19 knockoff, and brought many of the good features of those venerable workhorses to the table. Early models of the sigma, however, were rife with reliability issues, giving the Sigma a fairly poor name starting off, and earning the namesake “Slocks”, implying that they were a cheap knockoff of the genuine trusted Glock auto pistol. Smith and Wesson has, since that time revamped the pistol, adding several valuable features to the gun, and bringing it in line in quality with a Glock pistol.

Today we’re going to be looking at the SW9VE, which is the newest Sigma chambered for 9mm Parabellum. I chose the 9mm because it’s arguably the most popular handgun/home defense round in the world today, and because the 9mm version of this gun is in direct competition with the Glock 19 compact, the gun from which it gets most of its cues.
Smith and Wesson based the Sigma off of a high strength, light weight polymer body, which cuts down on weight significantly. The slide is stainless steel, which lends the gun an attractive two tone scheme which works nicely. This is the only color offering that S&W offers for the gun, so it’s a good thing it looks as good as it does. The first thing one notices about the body, and the slide especially is how similar it is to a Glock’s. This holds true for almost every piece of the gun, which in my opinion is definitely a good thing. The sights are standard three dot, and they work pretty nicely. The Sigma, just like the Glock, does not feature any sort of external safety, but comes with a Glock style trigger safety, ensuring that errant brushes will not discharge the weapon. The safety is a bit different in design than the Glock’s, in that there are not two separate pieces to the trigger. Pulling the trigger back slightly will disengage the safety, without having to worry about pulling the extra protruding trigger that Glocks are famous for. An interesting point about the trigger is the pull strength on it. The Sigma features a very tight trigger, both in part because of its dual action only operation, and the fact that S&W implemented a very tight trigger spring. The pull on the trigger is almost 10 pounds, which puts it at almost twice the trigger pull as the Glock. This is important for two reasons. Firstly, a strong trigger pull can help with safety immensely, it protects from light brushes discharging the weapon, and makes it more difficult for children to use it, however on the other side, a tight trigger means less accuracy, unless you are very familiar with the weapon. I would recommend taking the pistol to a gun shop and lightening the trigger a bit, or accuracy will definitely suffer. The construction of the weapon is either on par, or superior to a Glock in many ways. S&W incorporates stainless steel magazines instead of the polymer magazines standard with the Glock, and heavy duty slide and internal construction lend the weapon a solid feel. The reliability of this weapon is also phenomenal, with very few reports of jams or misfires, apart from user error. 
All in all, the Smith and Wesson Sigma 9mm is an impressive, reliable, and powerful personal defense pistol at a fraction of the price of a comparable Glock. The weapon would serve anyone well for many years, and with a reduced power trigger spring, becomes an accurate and deadly handgun for any situation.

http://rapidshare.com/files/315450904/Alex.mp3.html

I've made us a song Alex.

The world will always be ours.

Olivia I would sleep with your corpse.

>>	Anonymous 09/12/01(Tue)15:09 No.4   File: 1259698141834.jpg -(273043 B, 829x768) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.

>happy
>married

I think it's funny when people complain super loud about how 'hipsters ruined' this or that as though if hipsters would just go away the problem is solved and you can go back to wearing plaid shirts too or something. Because I mean, directionless youths have always appropriated things and made them annoying! You have it easy, oh reader! The Beats had walking caricatures to deal with and Goethe had suicidal poet dandies on his doorstep.

>>

just according to keikaku Anonymous 09/11/30(Mon)06:12 No.55   File: 1259579569213.jpg -(7694 B, 247x235) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. >>53 So basically Ravs shows up says you are acting like a dick and your plan to impress her by being the would be troll king of crackyhouse failed spectacularly and now you pretty much have shown yourself to be a bitter borderline insane old flapping asshole who can attention whore with the best of them. Gotcha Bro

>>	Anonymous 09/11/30(Mon)09:10 No.2   File: 1259590243502.jpg -(64282 B, 581x580) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.

http://pledgie.com/campaigns/5569

lol